


Becoming Human

by sayumi_konoto



Category: Tales of Series, Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, This is just the game's story but all from Emil's perspective cause I love him, as much as i love au's for this game i want more canon stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22545391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sayumi_konoto/pseuds/sayumi_konoto
Summary: Emil Castagnier's life takes a turn for the new and confusing when he hears the howls of a monster and meets a intimidating yet kind man who teaches him to have courage. When he becomes a Knight of Ratatosk to protect a nice girl from the man in the same day, he finds that things do not get easier from there.
Relationships: Emil Castagnier/Marta Lualdi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. Before the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Here's the prologue! I'll avoid writing word to word from the game so this is a little taste of my ~canon compliant abilities~ ヽ（●´3｀）ノ゛ルンルン♪ 
> 
> Warning for mentions of physical and verbal abuse

If anyone would ask him--not that he thinks anyone would--Emil’s clearest early memory is his mother and father on the ground bleeding out from long slashes by Lloyd Irving’s blades. Sometimes he feels, wandering around Luin and avoiding the whispers and the glares, that his life had first started when his parents were murdered in Palmacosta. Logically, he knows that’s not true, that he has memories of before the Blood Purge, of being a child, his father’s warm smile, and his mother’s silky golden hair, but those memories are all overshadowed by the blood, strained pleas, and blank eyes. 

In this new life, all Emil knows is that his parents are dead, he looks nothing like his mother, he has never had and never will make friends, and that he’s not allowed to ever take a single step outside of town unless he wants everyone to think he’s a Vanguard spy.

(Whatever that means.)

He’s not allowed to go to school either (the adults are worried he will indoctrinate the children with his heresy) but this becomes a blessing in disguise because it means most days he has an excuse to spend his time as far away from Dida and Mol as possible. Emil spends most of his time with Aunt Flora, despite the fact that she seems to hate everything about him and the droughted earth he walks on. Together they carve wood, fold paper, sew patches, and cook meals all in an effort to mitigate his ‘violent behaviors’ with ‘womanly duties’.

(When he first arrived to Luin, Emil did his best to convince everyone of what Lloyd Irving had done to Palmacosta, but everyone took his bold claims and waking nightmares as some insane propaganda. He used to be able to stand up for himself when people accused him of even murdering his own parents, but eventually Uncle Alba beat the defiant words out of him. It seemed so long ago when Emil was last able to say anything other than an apology for his existence when he was in Alba’s presence.)

Most days it was quiet with Aunt Flora. If he made too many mistakes in a day, however, she had no qualms breaking their unspoken pact of silence to rant to him for hours about all of his faults. Under Aunt Flora’s School of Peaceful Womanlyhood, Emil learned that it was his fault Lake Sinoa dried up, his fault the men had to travel far every day to find food and water, his fault monsters roamed the roads, and his fault the other women in town wouldn’t talk to her anymore.

(He told her once that no one would talk to her anymore because everyone knew how mean she really was, and he had to hold his hands to the burning stove for his trouble. When he was done crying like a child he had to apologize for questioning her capacity for kindness when she had taken him in without warning, had given him a bed, food, clothes, and water. How dare he talk back to her after all of his slander against Lloyd the Great that she had tolerated!)

(He wisely chose not to point out that the only person who seems to tolerate him at all was the mayor, and that was because he had to be nice to everyone.)

This is how Emil spends the first six months of his life, apologizing, cowering, and biting his tongue. He spends his last morning in Luin fretting over distant howls, reeling over Aunt Flora’s comment on his monstrous existence, and getting shoved right into the shoes of a tall mysterious man with long red hair.

Not too many hours later Emil is standing in a cave trying to find a way to open the door so he can figure out how to keep Tall Mysterious Richter from killing Kind Strong Marta before she can escape. The day has been a total blur of new faces, angry threats, and deep seated fear. He can only hope, when cat-dog Centurion Tenebrae offers him the power of a Knight of Ratatosk, that things will get better real fast.

Not too long after that, he is very, very wrong.


	2. The Beginning

“Please let us through!” Emil says with a surprising amount of confidence as he and Tenebrae approach Aqua.

Despite what he thought was a well-mannered tone, Aqua narrows her eyes at him as though she’s not sure if she wants to be scared or surprised, but instead she settles for anger.

“I won’t let you hurt Master Richter!” she says, backing into the stone barrier and throwing up a fin to summon her monsters.

Unbiddedly, Aqua’s fearful defiance brings a smile to his face. With the new power he feels in his body--in his form-- does she really think she can stop him with her weak monsters? If he wasn’t so distracted by the strength and power and _courage_ running through him, he probably would realize how uncharacteristic these thoughts were. But he’s _never_ felt this strong before! There’s really no time to worry.

His sword is unsheathed before Aqua’s siren can cast her first spell. The battle does not take much longer than that.

  


When the monsters are unconscious and the noise of battle stops, Emil sheaths his sword (Where did he get that from?) and examines his tingling fingers to make sure they’re still functioning. He guesses he’s alive, but there is no question; he fought and won all on his own.

Now on the other hand, he’s worried that he might have injured Aqua’s monsters beyond necessity, but when he looks up from his gloved (When’d those get there?) hands, he finds that the monsters are gone. Aqua is the only one left, and he can see the slow rise and fall of her shoulders as if she were asleep. He assumes that means she’s still alive.

_But where’d they all go?_ Emil thinks, glancing back to the empty rocky ground. 

__

__

Tenebrae, as if reading his mind, floats right down in front of Emil’s line of sight and says,”Well done, Emil. I understand you are worried about Aqua’s minions, but for now we must hurry to Lady Marta.”

Emil who miraculously withheld a high girly scream, nods and says, “R-Right, let’s go,” and then they both move deeper to the depths of the monster-infested cave.

When they find an injured Richter further in, Emil decides to save his questions about his old clothes for another time.

  


The fight with Lloyd goes even quicker, though it’s not to Emil and Marta’s benefit.

When he wakes up for the second time that day, he is sprawled on the cold cave ground, sore from head to toe, and with Marta leaning over him. Her eyes are wide with concern and curiosity. When they lock eyes, Emil blushes. No one’s ever looked at him like this before.

“Emil, you’re awake! Thank goodness!” Marta says. She offers him a hand up, and when Emil looks at her face again she smiles, though the furrow in her eyebrows suggest her thoughts are occupied.

“A-Are you okay, Marta?” Emil asks, watching Tenebrae hover over the altar thing in the center of the room instead of Marta’s warm smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she turns to the altar as well, worry consuming her face, “I’m surprised he didn’t kill us.”

“He did take Lumen’s core,” Tenebrae says, resting beside the altar, “Perhaps that was his only goal.”

“Really? What would he need the core for!?” Marta says loud and indignant, standing to dust off her skirt when Emil doesn’t take her hand. Aunt Flora always tells him off for pouting but this is the first time he’s actually seen a pout on the face of someone other than a child.

Emil mentions the big jewel he saw Lloyd grab to catch himself up to their conversation (and to hopely keep Marta from shouting again). Marta groans loudly, takes a calming deep breath, and smiles back at him.

(Why does she keep doing that?)

“Thank you, Emil,” she says, leaning over him again. Emil tenses from the unexpected sincerity and proximity.

“You came all this way and became a Knight of Ratatosk just to protect me.”

“I-I-I really didn’t do anything though…,” Emil mumbles, burying his chin in his scarf. Marta giggles at him.

“This is the third time you’ve saved me already,” she says, coyly clasping her hands behind her back and tilting her head, “You really are my Prince Charming.”

Emil turns as red as an apple gel.

_W-What? I couldn’t do anything though! What does she mean ‘third time’?_

“Lady Marta, if I will,” Tenebrae says, interrupting Emil’s embarrassed silence, “we do need to find a way out of this cave if we want a chance of catching up to Lloyd.”

“Right,” Marta nods. Once she leans away from him, Emil feels the air enter his lungs again.

“I believe I feel a draft in this room.”

“Great, let’s start looking!” Marta says, serious once more.

Emil nods in agreement and pushes himself up to his feet. As much as he wants to get out of this scary cave, he’s not looking forward to returning to Luin when this is all over.

  


They do not find Lloyd when they exit the cave, but Emil does end up learning more about the world’s history in one sitting than he ever remembers learning in school.

He’s still processing that history (it's been a _long_ time since he’s been to school) when they spot the bridges that mark the entrance of town. Marta seems excited about running into his family for some reason, but all Emil feels is a spike of anxiety. He hopes his Ratatosk powers can protect him when Uncle Alba finds him. Maybe he should’ve asked for his old clothes back sooner. 

As they walk through Luin, Emil can feel the tension roll off his shoulders. He’s surprised that Marta seems oblivious, but she’s more occupied by the mystery of Emil’s home life. He made sure they stayed far from the inn.

Every townsperson older than a decade glares at them as they pass. Emil kind of feels like he’s walking into a trap or an execution with the agitated air of the town. No doubt Uncle Alba had griped about Emil’s rebellious acts.

It’s not until they reach the center of town in front of the mayor’s house when trouble abruptly catches up to them in the form of a spindly bird-shaped man and other loosely uniformed men who call Marta’s name.

“Marta, the Commander wants you to come back to the Vanguard,” the bird-man says as though he is not making a command. When Marta frowns at him, the guards behind him tense into defensive positions.

“Hawk, why don’t you go and tell _Brute_ that I’m not coming back and I’m not giving him Ratatosk’s core until he drops this whole operation!”

Hawk scowls.

Emil doesn’t know who the brute is or what the Vanguard has done to make so many people angry, but he understands enough about the situation to know that they are not getting out of this without a fight, as much as he hates it.

The battle takes a frustrating amount of time with two teenagers against four grown men in the tight environment, but Emil doesn’t get a second to comprehend that he’s survived yet another battle before more trouble arrives.

Out of nowhere comes a group of men in shiny hulking armor with large, imposing lances. They haven’t seemed to notice Marta and Emil yet because they all focus on scaring the injured Vanguard away with the tips of the blades. The man at the back of the group who wears no helmet watches his men with an ugly smirk. Still unnoticed, the man calls for Marta’s presence with a booming voice in the direction of all the homes in town. The people of Luin are likely boarded up in their houses by now, too used to dealing with trouble of this nature.

“Lady Marta, Emil, we must escape,” Tenebrae whispers, suddenly appearing in the space between the mayor’s home and the weapon shop. He turns and vanishes in a silent puff of smoke.

“Come on!” Marta says, grabbing Emil’s wrist and pulling him out of sight and to their escape from town. Emil hopes no one else gets hurt. It’s already been a long enough day.

  


“Marta, who were those people? What’s going on?” Emil asks breathlessly, unable to withhold his curiosity and fear now that they are a safe distance away from any aggressors.

Marta doesn’t have to catch her breath, but she doesn’t respond right away. She looks very conflicted.

“Marta, are you in the Vanguard?” Emil asks, his characteristic impatience overcoming his desire to be kind.

“N-No! Not anymore!” Marta says, waving her hands in the air as if to dispel the notion. Before she can dive into an explanation of the last fifteen minutes, however, a booming voice carries over from Luin and catches their attention.

“Citizens of Luin! We are the Knights of the Church of Martel!” the man declares. “We come bearing a demand from Lloyd the Great! Bring us the girl named Marta Lualdi. She has taken a precious jewel from us. Failure to bring her to us will be considered treason to the Church and Lloyd Irving the Great, and is punishable by death!”

“Oh no...,” Marta gasps, hands covering her mouth in shock.

“We know she is here! You lot have been warned!” the man continues, voice fading as he moves further away from the hill Marta Lualdi is hiding on.

To Marta’s back, Emil clenches his fists, unsure what to do with his rush of feelings. His heart is still beating fast and he just feels so confused and angry. Probably scared too. Marta has been so nice to him, but whatever trouble she brought with two opposing groups is not appreciated.

“Marta,” he says. She flinches. “You need to give them Ratatosk’s core.”

“But, Emil…,” she starts. Her voice tight like she might cry.

“If the Church of Martel really attacks Luin like they did in Palmacosta, everyone’s gonna get mad at me!” he feels like he can’t breathe, angry words flying from his mouth like they used to when he first came to Luin. He can hardly bear to think.

There is a pause where Emil tries to catch his breath and Marta looks at him like her heart is breaking but she doesn’t know what to say. Eventually she swallows the words back and nods to Emil, “Alright, I’ll go.”

Before Emil or Tenebrae can reply, she turns to look at the centurion, tucking some of her bangs behind her ear and masking her turmoil.

“I’m sorry, Tenebrae,” she says. He says nothing in response so she gives Emil a short strained smile and quickly sets off to the town.

Emil watches her leave feeling one tension leave his body as another settles right on his shoulders. He’s having an immensely difficult time comprehending all the unspoken that just happened in that moment. He has a creeping feeling that he had just been a big jerk to her.

_She looked just as scared as I am…_

“Emil, Knight of Ratatosk,” Tenebrae says, sensing his need for redirection, “You are aware you sent Lady Marta to her death, correct? If they remove Lord Ratatosk’s core from her forehead, she will not survive!”

No, he was very much not aware of that. _Why did she listen to me?_

“We-We need to go stop her!” Emil stumbles, whipping his gaze back toward Luin.

“Please,” Tenebrae agrees, and they both hurry back in Marta’s direction to hopefully catch her before the Knights of Martel do. No matter how scared Emil is, he tries to remind himself how much courage Marta must’ve had to go back to town knowing what she did about the outcome.

  


In the few minutes since Emil last saw Marta, fires have spread halfway over town. Citizens of Luin are scrambling to put them out with the little water they have while they try to run from the few but persistent Knights of Martel. The smells and the shouts take his mind back to a ruined Palmacosta and his murdered parents. He can hardly think through all the anger and fear he feels. Why are they doing this? Don’t they have Marta with them? What is the point of destroying these peoples’ homes?

Emil finds Marta and the leader of the Knights in front of the fountain to Lloyd. Other knights surround them, lances pointed at Marta just in case she tries to escape.

“Marta!” Emil cries out, heart frozen in his chest. He needs to save her! But what can he possibly do to get her out of this?

“Emil!” Marta cries back, reaching out despite their distance from each other.

“Ha! That boy will not save you, traitor!” the man with no helmet bellows, forcefully grabbing the girl by her collar and jarring her around. “Prepare to face the wrath of the Goddess!”

Marta tries to kick the man away, ferocity taking over her terror, but she misses each time and the surrounding knights close in.

“Let her go!” Emil shouts helplessly, barely hearing Tenebrae’s warning before there is a loud blast from the bridge behind him and he goes flying.

He doesn’t have time to brace himself before he slams hard on the stone ground. He’s aware of himself rolling from the momentum, the feeling of his mind emptying, and the buzz of sensation taking over all thought.

  
  
  


The next thing he is aware of is his stinging fists and Marta calling his name. He is standing over the leader of the Knights with one hand aimed to punch while the other grips the man’s collar. Just like the man had done to Marta.

The man beneath him is red and purple in the face, blood dripping from his twisted nose, near delirious. _He probably wishes he had a helmet_ , Emil thinks before his mind catches up to the situation at hand. In his hands.

...Did he do this?

“Emil?” Marta says again, and he steps away from the near unconscious man.

(Maybe he really is a monster.)

“I-I…—” he sputters, unable to bring himself to look at Marta’s face and see the disgust that would for sure be there.

He needs to get away, to make sure no one’s hurt, and to do—to do—to do _something_ other than stand surrounded by these unmoving armored men (please don’t be dead, please just be unconscious) in full sight of the entire town.

He turns on his heels and runs toward the only intact bridge, ignoring Marta’s calls and Tenebrae’s heedy stare.

Most of the fires are put out when he gets to the center of town. The Knights are gone and no one is screaming anymore, though some citizens have tears rolling down their faces as they try to clean up the carnage and comfort the young children.

He finds Dida and Mol close to the town entrance whispering to each other and picking up fruit that had been damaged and scattered in the pillaging. They don’t hear Emil approach, but when one of them turns around and sees him, they both jump.

“Oh, h-hey Emil!” they say. Neither of them can look him in the eye.

Emil reaches out his hand to do—something, he doesn’t know what, to help maybe, but they hate him now more than ever and what good could he possibly do?—and the twins flinch, one of them dropping his apples.

They all freeze staring at each other’s feet, emotions heavy on their tongues but no words to describe them. Emil drops his arm and the boys take that as an opportunity to leave as quickly as possible. Emil doesn’t watch them leave, head churning over the many events of the day. He doesn’t even have the courage to admit to himself how much he hates the people here and how they treat him or how total strangers involved in a lot of shady business are the nicest people he’s interacted with for as long as he can remember.

(Can he really be the monster when everyone treats him like this? Or maybe he’s a wimp because he can’t even accept the truth. Or even just plain stupid. He doesn’t know what’ll happen from here, if things can get any worse.)

“...Emil?” someone says, stepping right in front of him. It’s Marta, he realizes slowly, with her striped boots and concerned voice he doesn’t deserve.

She waits a few seconds for a reply and when she doesn’t get one she gently grabs his arm and says,“Come on, let’s go talk to the mayor.”

He reacts late to her words and her touch, but he eventually nods, leading her back to the center of town and pretending like he can’t see the fear in the movements of every citizen he passes on the way.

Of course Aunt Flora and Uncle Alba are waiting outside the mayor’s house when they get there. Emil doesn’t even want to bother speaking to them. He already knows what they’re going to say. They’ll call him the spawn of demons, whine about their reputations, threaten to skin his hide so he can’t even sit on the softest clouds in Aselia.

Right now, he really does not care. He just wants to get inside before they start talking.

Marta must’ve understood what his sudden hesitance was about unfortunately because she does not move even when Uncle Alba glowers at them.

He and Emil lock eyes for a moment, and that’s all Uncle Alba needs before he starts shouting. Emil chooses not to understand a word, only the huffs and grunts. Uncle Alba seems different, but he can’t put his finger on why.

When her husband is done ranting, Aunt Flora says nothing, but she does clasp her hands together like she’s struggling with something other than pure hatred for her nephew. But, she chooses not to say anything, so Emil moves to the door, not willing to waste the energy questioning her when he knows he won’t be sleeping under her roof anymore.

Marta follows close to his side as he enters the mayor’s house. He feels the gaze of his mother’s sister on his retreating back, and he finds that he doesn’t really care.

  


Emil and Marta leave the mayor’s house with a promise to find Lloyd and interrogate him about his motives. Emil doesn’t have any belongings worth taking along, so he heads straight out of Luin without a second glance. Marta stops him right after they cross the bridge, leaning over to look him in the lowered eyes and to give him a weak but comforting smile.

“Hey...I’m sorry about everything that happened today,” she says, voice sweet and sincere. Emil feels horrible for ignoring her till now.

“S’okay...s’not your fault,” he mumbles back.

Marta’s smile grows to full strength in a matter of milliseconds.

“We can work together, you know,” she says, giving Emil a moment to lift his gaze from the dirt, “We both need to find Lloyd after all. Is...Is that alright with you?” she asks as if she is worried that he is mad at her. Really he thinks she should be mad at him for everything he’s done today.

“Of course,” Emil says, putting on his best attempt at a genuine smile. Marta beams in response and Tenebrae appears just to blink at him like a sleepy cat and gesture for them to get moving. They probably have a long way to go if they actually want to catch up to Lloyd.

  
  
  


After walking for about forty minutes in reflective silence, Emil turns to a quietly humming Marta and blurts, “I’m sorry for earlier!”

Marta blinks at him owlishly, but out of embarrassment Emil interrupts her before she can ask.

“I was really selfish for making you go back to Luin where that guy was going to kill you just because I thought everyone was gonna hate me. They were never going to like me anyway and letting you get hurt—”

“It’s okay!” Marta says even though he knows it’s really not. “You didn’t really understand about Ratatosk’s core and Magmar didn’t even get a chance to hurt me. Besides, you were just really worried that everyone was going to get hurt because of me. I’m not mad!”

She laughs at him when he continues to look lost. “Really, I promise! In fact, I’m really happy you saved me again! And that you’re travelling with us.”

“I don’t think I’ll be much help…” he mumbles into his scarf, embarrassed by her high praise. He still doesn’t understand what she sees in him.

She giggles, leaning over into his space. “I know you’ll keep me safe,” she says with dreamy confidence.

Emil doesn’t think that’s very reassuring, but he hopes eventually he could be half as certain as she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there's actual dialogue now!


End file.
